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I started by telling my small group of close swim friends and then let the word spread to the rest of the team. As much as I tried to hide my boyfriend during freshman year from my teammates, it was inevitable they were going to find out. My freshman year of college at Villanova, I told myself, “it's four years, just fake it” because now that I was a Division I swimmer I really thought I couldn’t be out. I was afraid of telling my teammates that I was gay because I feared they would look at me differently or my guy friends would distance themselves. At the same time swim practice meant lying to my coach and teammates - the people I called my family. I would consistently use training as an excuse to not date. I dated a few girls, but never anything too serious. Swimming was my outlet, my distraction and my excuse. On top of everything else I was a competitive swimmer, a sport known for being “more gay” because my uniform was a tiny piece of fabric just large enough to cover “my stuff” and I went to a private, Catholic high school. High school was four years of confusion, depression, anxiety and all other emotions you feel when you’re hiding who you are every day. I was always good at hiding my emotions and pushing my feelings deep inside, so I had no problem hiding that I was gay until high school. A difference that was hard to comprehend because I grew up being taught that men were essentially programmed to marry women and that is how the world works. I always knew there was something different about me from my friends. Growing up in Trabuco Canyon, in Orange County, Calif., going to church on Sunday and having chapel twice a week at my elementary and middle school definitely was a challenge. He went there hoping to swim, but an injury cut short his career.īefore we tell you the story of how two gay swimmers helped each other come out, we want to share some background about each of us. Josh Velasquez attends the University of Arizona. We wanted to share our stories.Īxel Reed, will graduate this spring from Chapman University in Orange County, Calif., where he was a swimmer. We don’t know where each of us would be without the other. We came out to each other via text, and our bond and friendship has only grown.
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In a recent poll of more than four thousand UK adults, 57 percent of 18- to 24-year-olds admitted to body-image anxieties, though that number fell to 30 percent for 45- to 54-year-olds and 20 percent for those 55 and over.We’re two swimmers and best friends, both in college, who happen to be gay. Meanwhile, Josh Bradlow, a spokesperson for the LGBTQ+ equality organization Stonewall, told the newspaper that “stereotypical assumptions and beliefs about masculinity and femininity can be deeply damaging for how anyone-especially LGBT people-see themselves and their bodies.”Īt least these insecurities seem to fall away with age. Speaking to The Guardian in 2019, a spokesperson for the Mental Health Foundation cited research suggesting that “higher body dissatisfaction is associated with poorer quality of life, psychological distress, and risk of unhealthy eating behaviors and eating disorders.” Who among us hasn’t looked in the mirror and wished something was different? But it might be good practice to start accepting the things we can’t change, so to speak, especially since poor body image can be detrimental to our mental health.